Q: Does Your Alienated Child Love You


despite everything deep down does your
child love you
ham Ryan Thomas a child of parental
alienation who reunited with my dad and
that’s what we’re talking about in this
video and I will send a question from
Suzanne and she asks despite all the
lies all the manipulation deep down does
my child still love me and the answer to
that is yes the problem is they can’t
admit it to anyone
they can’t even admit it to themselves I
know for me there was no way that I
could bring myself and allow myself to
truly acknowledge how I felt about my
dad when when we were having such
difficulties because to do that would be
to go in the face of all of this hard
work that had been done by the
controlling parent it is their life’s
mission to turn the child against the
alienated parent and so when you’re
bombarded with all of that stuff to even
think about acknowledging or admitting
that you love that parent or that you
like that parent or that you in any way
have kind thoughts even this much could
mean the ruin of life as you know it and
I think that that might sound you know a
dramatic to people but let me tell you
when you’re under the influence of
alienation when your kid and you don’t
know hey this is what’s happening to me
and boy isn’t this awful
you just think this is life and you know
that in order to survive and to have a
happy productive somewhat peaceful life
you have to you have to go you have to
toe the line
you have to do and say the things that
you know are not going to make waves or
cause you trouble so I would have lots
of great times with my dad and
unfortunately it wasn’t something that I
would come back from visitation and say
what an amazing time I had
dad was so great we had so much fun we
laughed and we did all of these things
because I know that’s gonna bring a wave
of negativity of oh he’s a weekend dad
he’s just being a fun time parent that’s
not really what a parent is or oh you
love him so much why don’t you go spend
all your time so I would just zip my lip
well when you do that enough you start
to sort of suppress those feelings and
you certainly don’t go around telling
people about them so you learn at a very
young age to keep those good times to
yourself the challenge with that is that
I would have great times but it’s like
anything else if you don’t get to come
and sort of relish in them or or talk to
people about those experiences or just
spend have some time to actually think
about it it’s just boom it’s gone it’s
like into the wind and you know one of
the most favorite things that my dad and
I used to do was in the summertime my
dad would take the lawn mower and go on
the back yard and put it down to the
lowest setting and he would mow out a
little strip a little round area he
would dig out a hole put a coffee can in
it and declare you know we have
ourselves a putting green right in the
backyard and I just thought that this
was the the coolest thing that we had a
putting green so we’d take our putters
out onto this you know lawn that my dad
had had sort of mocked up and we’d
knocked the ball around and we just had
such a great time and I knew in those
moments that I loved him and that he
loved me and I knew that there was a
bond
I felt that bond with him but when in in
my situation where you only have one or
two days or one or two days every other
week or maybe at most four days out of
an entire month those times are so few
and far between that they do become
fleeting if you don’t again have that
opportunity to reinforce the love the
love that you feel from a parent to a
child from a child to a parent or from a
parent to a child and be able to receive
that it is very easy
for the controlling dominating parent
and the regime to bombard you with
negativity so that it really it makes
that opportunity go less and less and
less and less and then when the line is
really drawn in the sand when it comes
to parental alienation and you know you
now really believe that the parent is no
good or is not right those those still
those thoughts and that feeling is still
in the back of your head but it becomes
so powerful and that embracing that love
embracing those those desires to be with
the parent actually become painful
because to accept that and to embrace
that would mean to go against all of the
other powers that be that are in the
child’s life and so unfortunately we we
suppress that down but I know that even
in the worst times that I felt about my
dad or that I felt our relationship was
in I loved him I believed that he loved
me
I knew that I wanted to share things in
my life with him I knew that I wanted to
show him to talk to him about milestones
that were going on but I couldn’t really
bring myself to admit it I didn’t spend
any time talking to other people about
it geez wish dad was around for this
there just it just didn’t happen and so
I want you to know that I truly believe
that deep down yes your child loves you
and they actually want to have a
relationship with you they want to be
loved by you and they want to love you
but in the dynamics and the situation
that they’re in it’s actually I don’t
want to say it’s impossible but it feels
impossible to them at this moment so
hang on to both to that belief that they
do love you and that they know that you
love them as well and just know that
they are under a very powerful regime
and they believe that that regime is the
only is the only life that they can have
or the only life that they know and it
is going to take time and effort and
strategies and life events to change
that life perspective and it is possible
again I am living proof that it is
possible to break out from the parental
alienation from the regime from that
mindset and find my way back to my dad
or a parent so it is possible so don’t
give up hope
I hope that helps Susan and other
parents as well and if you want to make
sure that you receive other videos
delivered into your inbox just like this
where I’m going to be answering
questions that parents have about
parental alienation and asked answering
them from my perspective as a child go
ahead click the subscribe button so that
I can make sure that I can get these
videos to you in my effort to help you
so again I’m Ryan Thomas thank you so
much and I’ll see you on the next videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJdC6pUmWlY

Advertisements

It's time we all start discussing alienation and work out prevention tactics. Please write your thoughts here.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.