I have been giving a lot of thought to the METHOD of causing a child to hate a parent so much. I mean this must take a real concerted effort, right? I envisioned an aversion therapy like that featured in the book “A Clockwork Orange”, or time spent in a hyptnoists office, being “programmed”… I also thought about those men in the Man Boy Love group, how do they convince children that they are the child’s friend, to be silent, and in some cases to come to be an important part of a “Rapist” or child molestor’s life?
I’ve heard some awful things from the mouths of babes, things that could only be taught: racial slurs: dispariaging remarks about ethnic groups even before the child knows what a member of that ethnic group is. So how do these people teach hate so easily?
In my reading of stories of others situations it seems there really is a method or process the adults put the children through in order to get the desired result.
Here are some of the things I believe cases have in common:
1) Removal of any items that can induce fond memories of the estranged parent, photos, presents, letters, and even clothing: these are sometimes intercepted and destroyed or the other parent takes credit for the gift, making the child feel forgotten/abandonded by the estranged parent.
2) Name calling. If you call a child stupid enough, s/he will begin to feel and act that way; if you call their parent a crackhead enough, they will believe that too.
3) Telling the child s/he isn’t loved.
4) Detailing wrondoings in a way that is a serious negative connotation. ie. I bounced a check and my ex told the kids there was a warrant for my arrest, not what for, just that I was due to be arrested for being “BAD”.
5) Provoking anger then only showing the angry response and not what led to it.
6) Allowing/Encouraging others to bad mouth the x.